They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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