Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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