why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
