i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
