i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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