Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
