Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
