her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
