I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My vagina is officially offended.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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