The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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