I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
