i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
