Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
do nipples grow back?
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