is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
