Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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