I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
