its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
