Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
