Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
