the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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