yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
