PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
