So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is wine microwaveable?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
