she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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