you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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