I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
