I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
