STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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