just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
