Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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