They should really pass out barf bags in church
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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