If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
