i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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