I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
