I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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