The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think my fart just growled at me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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