So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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