the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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