you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ttyl tear gas
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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