love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
