A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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