whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
