Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
