Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
