is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
