drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
