So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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