Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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