my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
