Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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