Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
