you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
